Right now, I am sitting in the Cultural Center, usually a very reliable place to get internet. But, apparently there are sunspots that are interfering with our signal. Only in Alaska. Oh yea, and it was a 10 minute walk in -40 degree weather to get here in the first place. If the internet doesn’t come on soon, I’m going to have to have a stern talk with the sun… Oh, it is back on! Great, lets get to the reason I am writing to you today.
The other day, when I was driving to go pick up some of my students, I was listening to one of the three Bethel radio stations (we have THREE radio stations now!) and heard this Dolly Parton song that really spoke to me. In fact, I immediately filed it away so that I could share it with all of you. The song is called “Better get to Livin.” You may be shocked that I will be quoting a Dolly Parton song and not some emo song, but what can I say, I listen to country a lot these days. (It is always on the radio.) Anyway, I am going to steal a format that my good friend Stacey, a JV in Baltimore used once for one of her blogs, using song lyrics to tell her story. So, here goes.
A girlfriend came to my house / Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening / She was spinnin' such a sad tale / I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin' / So negative the words she had to say / I said if I had a violin I'd play.
Like I have mentioned previously, December and January were rough months for me. I was walking around with a lot of baggage. I was stressed about my family, I got dumped, and I was just generally floating around in a bit of a painful haze. I feel really bad for my roommates that had to deal with my ridiculous mood swings and my tendency to be quite dramatic. Lets just say that I can either be a joy or a jerk. I’m sure you can figure out which I one showed more.
But then I had a wake up call. It wasn’t sudden, like an alarm clock going off in the morning, it was more like the sunrise in your bedroom window that wakes you up with its low ascent into the sky. After a few weeks of wallowing, I followed Dolly’s advice.
You better get to livin', givin' / Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin' / And lovin' on the way / You better get to knowin', showin' / A little bit more concerned about where you're goin' / Just a word unto the wise / You better get to livin'.
So, I have gotten to living. Or I guess it should technically be, I have gotten to livin’. Whatever. But, I’ve been doing it. I started walking to school more often. I am definitely more used to the cold weather these days and my walks have become a very important part of my day. Also, the sun is out way more these days. In a few more days I will even get to see the sun start rising on my walk to work! Awesome.
I have also started trying to get out more. The other day I went cross-country skiing with my co-worker/friend Chris. We ended up going 4 miles because we got lost, but he had his GPS with him, which was great. Actually, funny story about that day. After our teacher inservice on Monday, Chris and I got all geared up and then headed out in his Jeep onto the river road (the river is frozen like 4 feet thick and is used as a road now). It was my first time actually driving on the river, which was pretty sweet. It is super bumpy and could be dangerous if you got stuck in the snow, so you have to speed along pretty well and just try and not hit the ice equivalent of speed bumps too hard. So, we get to where we are going to ski, then we ski for a few hours and then head back to the Jeep to go home. We are heading back when all of a sudden, we realize that there is traffic ahead. We are headed right towards an Alaskan traffic jam. It isn’t cars ahead of us on the road. It is a dog team! Two, in fact. Dog teams only go about a max of 15 mph, and before we came up to them we were going about 45 mph, just to be careful and not get stuck in the snow. But, our four legged friends in front of us were blocking the entire path. We couldn’t go around them because we were surrounded by snow drifts, so we had to just sort of creep along behind them until we split ways.
Now, I have zero survival skills. During all of this, I did not realize that we could have actually been in danger if we had gotten stuck. I mean, we had good warm gear and there is plenty of snow machine or car traffic on the river, but it still would’ve sucked if we got stuck. But so the whole time we were driving back, Chris was on the verge of freaking out and I was as cool as a cucumber. Because I am also about as smart as a cucumber (when it comes to stuff like that). But, we survived and once we were safe again, Chris told me why he was stressed. I’m kind of happy I was ignorant.
Other fun activities recently include: an author/photographer’s reading and writer’s craft lecture this week, making new friends, taking my kids to work at a soup kitchen, making a much more successful batch of bagels, watching lots of movies celebrating the birthdays of friends in Bethel and just hanging out with the roommates.
I said you'd better get to livin', givin' / Be willing and forgivin' / Cause all healing has to start with you / You better stop whining, pining / Get your dreams in line / And then just shine, design, refine / Until they come true / And you better get to livin'.
The forgiving and the healing part of this song are the things I have been struggling with, but even that is getting better since I have gotten a little perspective. My family drives me nuts, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Seriously. I swear. No, I’m serious! As for the getting dumped thing, well, it has happened before and with my luck, it will happen again. And heck, there are still 400 guys to each girl in Bethel. Living in Alaska brings a whole new perspective on the saying “there are plenty more fish in the sea.
We are now entering out 7th month and while I absolutely cannot believe I am over halfway done with my JVC year, I am also feeling really good about what is going to come next. I loved the Dolly line “get your dreams in line / and then just shine, design, refine.” That is my focus right now. Coming to Bethel was a way to challenge myself, see how much I can do, who I can become. Next year, I want to continue this journey and see where it takes me. I am not making any decisions about a destination, I just have a goal. Now is my time to shine, design and refine myself, and I love it. Now, it is time to head to broomball, and to get to livin’!
The day we're born we start to die / Don't waste one minute of this life / Get to livin' / Share your dreams and share your laughter / Make some points for the great hereafter. / Better start carin' / Better start sharin' / Better start tryin' Better start smiling / And you better get to livin'...
Amen! :)
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