Time to get to livin'!

Right now, I am sitting in the Cultural Center, usually a very reliable place to get internet. But, apparently there are sunspots that are interfering with our signal. Only in Alaska. Oh yea, and it was a 10 minute walk in -40 degree weather to get here in the first place. If the internet doesn’t come on soon, I’m going to have to have a stern talk with the sun… Oh, it is back on! Great, lets get to the reason I am writing to you today.

The other day, when I was driving to go pick up some of my students, I was listening to one of the three Bethel radio stations (we have THREE radio stations now!) and heard this Dolly Parton song that really spoke to me. In fact, I immediately filed it away so that I could share it with all of you. The song is called “Better get to Livin.” You may be shocked that I will be quoting a Dolly Parton song and not some emo song, but what can I say, I listen to country a lot these days. (It is always on the radio.) Anyway, I am going to steal a format that my good friend Stacey, a JV in Baltimore used once for one of her blogs, using song lyrics to tell her story. So, here goes.

A girlfriend came to my house / Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening / She was spinnin' such a sad tale / I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin' / So negative the words she had to say / I said if I had a violin I'd play.

Like I have mentioned previously, December and January were rough months for me. I was walking around with a lot of baggage. I was stressed about my family, I got dumped, and I was just generally floating around in a bit of a painful haze. I feel really bad for my roommates that had to deal with my ridiculous mood swings and my tendency to be quite dramatic. Lets just say that I can either be a joy or a jerk. I’m sure you can figure out which I one showed more.

But then I had a wake up call. It wasn’t sudden, like an alarm clock going off in the morning, it was more like the sunrise in your bedroom window that wakes you up with its low ascent into the sky. After a few weeks of wallowing, I followed Dolly’s advice.

You better get to livin', givin' / Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin' / And lovin' on the way / You better get to knowin', showin' / A little bit more concerned about where you're goin' / Just a word unto the wise / You better get to livin'.

So, I have gotten to living. Or I guess it should technically be, I have gotten to livin’. Whatever. But, I’ve been doing it. I started walking to school more often. I am definitely more used to the cold weather these days and my walks have become a very important part of my day. Also, the sun is out way more these days. In a few more days I will even get to see the sun start rising on my walk to work! Awesome.

I have also started trying to get out more. The other day I went cross-country skiing with my co-worker/friend Chris. We ended up going 4 miles because we got lost, but he had his GPS with him, which was great. Actually, funny story about that day. After our teacher inservice on Monday, Chris and I got all geared up and then headed out in his Jeep onto the river road (the river is frozen like 4 feet thick and is used as a road now). It was my first time actually driving on the river, which was pretty sweet. It is super bumpy and could be dangerous if you got stuck in the snow, so you have to speed along pretty well and just try and not hit the ice equivalent of speed bumps too hard. So, we get to where we are going to ski, then we ski for a few hours and then head back to the Jeep to go home. We are heading back when all of a sudden, we realize that there is traffic ahead. We are headed right towards an Alaskan traffic jam. It isn’t cars ahead of us on the road. It is a dog team! Two, in fact. Dog teams only go about a max of 15 mph, and before we came up to them we were going about 45 mph, just to be careful and not get stuck in the snow. But, our four legged friends in front of us were blocking the entire path. We couldn’t go around them because we were surrounded by snow drifts, so we had to just sort of creep along behind them until we split ways.

Now, I have zero survival skills. During all of this, I did not realize that we could have actually been in danger if we had gotten stuck. I mean, we had good warm gear and there is plenty of snow machine or car traffic on the river, but it still would’ve sucked if we got stuck. But so the whole time we were driving back, Chris was on the verge of freaking out and I was as cool as a cucumber. Because I am also about as smart as a cucumber (when it comes to stuff like that). But, we survived and once we were safe again, Chris told me why he was stressed. I’m kind of happy I was ignorant.

Other fun activities recently include: an author/photographer’s reading and writer’s craft lecture this week, making new friends, taking my kids to work at a soup kitchen, making a much more successful batch of bagels, watching lots of movies celebrating the birthdays of friends in Bethel and just hanging out with the roommates.

I said you'd better get to livin', givin' / Be willing and forgivin' / Cause all healing has to start with you / You better stop whining, pining / Get your dreams in line / And then just shine, design, refine / Until they come true / And you better get to livin'.

The forgiving and the healing part of this song are the things I have been struggling with, but even that is getting better since I have gotten a little perspective. My family drives me nuts, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Seriously. I swear. No, I’m serious! As for the getting dumped thing, well, it has happened before and with my luck, it will happen again. And heck, there are still 400 guys to each girl in Bethel. Living in Alaska brings a whole new perspective on the saying “there are plenty more fish in the sea.

We are now entering out 7^th month and while I absolutely cannot believe I am over halfway done with my JVC year, I am also feeling really good about what is going to come next. I loved the Dolly line “get your dreams in line / and then just shine, design, refine.” That is my focus right now. Coming to Bethel was a way to challenge myself, see how much I can do, who I can become. Next year, I want to continue this journey and see where it takes me. I am not making any decisions about a destination, I just have a goal. Now is my time to shine, design and refine myself, and I love it. Now, it is time to head to broomball, and to get to livin’!

The day we're born we start to die / Don't waste one minute of this life / Get to livin' / Share your dreams and share your laughter / Make some points for the great hereafter. / Better start carin' / Better start sharin' / Better start tryin' Better start smiling / And you better get to livin'...

Orcas, Sea Lions and Reflection. Oh My!

Hello, my faithful followers!
Today the weather has been a balmy 32 degrees, sunny and beautiful. I am not joking when I say that it feels balmy. In fact, my kids actually complain about how hot it is here when the weather gets this warm. It makes me really worry about my students' productivity in the spring, if they are already rolling down the windows in the car, wearing t-shirts outside, and falling asleep because it is so warm out, I am anticipating kids walking around in bathing suits in 50 degree weather. That will be interesting.

Speaking of interesting, I have some fun tibits of my adventures in Alaska to tell you. First of all, I spent last weekend in Juneau for our second JVC retreat. We arrived in Juneau on Friday afternoon and picked up by one of the Juneau JVs. He didn't bother driving us to their house or straight to the retreat site, we have prioities, you know. He drove us straight to the Alaskan Brewing Co. for a 2.5 hour long beer tasting. AWESOME. There is no better introduction back into society than hanging out with 28 other great people (all the JVs met there) and tasting lots of delicious beers. After having a few tastes (ok, like 10) we all headed to the Juneau JV house for birthday cakes and then headed to the Shrine, our retreat location. The Shrine was a beautiful location, full of trees, right on the water and full of marine life!

On our first night there, Justin and I went climbing on the rocks to get down to the ocean. Unfortuantely, he was wearing hiking books and I was wearing my Uggs. My Uggs are fantastic, amazing shoes, except when you need traction. In Bethel, I slip on the ice/snow on my walk to work once a week, like clockwork. On the slippery, barnacle covered rocks in Juneau, I struggled a little bit. It was even worse when we met up with PJ and some of the Anchorage JVs and tried to climb the hill back to the Shrine. Getting down the hill was easy, just kind of slide gently downhill. Climbing up, in the dark, with nothing but a little soil and mossy rock to hold onto. That was interesting. It didn't help that I was the only girl and I really felt like I needed to show that I could hang with the boys. Yea... that didn't happen. I was all sorts of clumsy and needed all the help I could get to get up the hill. Yay for strong women. Haha.

Anyway, the retreat was amazing, I love the JVs from all over Alaska, I love group reflections and I love retreats. How could I not have a blast? The weekend was full of gossip and laughter, sharing and serious talks. Also, I got to see orcas and sea lions!!!! So exciting!

Back at BABS, it has been emotional breakdown week for my students. Everyone is crying, breaking up, crying, fighting, leaving BABS, crying. Yippee! But, like I was telling a friend of mine, it is not despite of the hard days that I love my job, it is because of these hard days, and the joy that comes hand in hand, that I love my job. I can't believe my year is halfway over!

Anyway, more stories to come, I need to head out, but I hope everyone is doing well!

Love and miss you all!

Sugar Daddys and High School Drama

So, there have been a good number of you who have said I should write a book out of my experiences this year. I think you are crazy. But, I was thinking. What good book is missing some romance in the storyline? None of the books I read. Ok, you caught me, when I am home, I read romance novels like an addict. I blame my mom for getting me hooked on the literary equivalent of chick flicks. But, in my defense, I have read some intellectual books recently, The Awakening, The Alchemist, The Angry Archer (yes, I made that last one up, I just realized a theme of "The A" and I wanted to continue it.) But, lets put the fact that I read trashy romance novels aside for now and lets talk about sex, baby. No, I don't mean it. I don't really wanna talk about sex. Let's talk about romance.

I've been romanced like crazy the past few weeks. I swear, men are coming out of the woodwork like termites. Men offering me rides, gum, or just innocent chats over coffee. Unfortunately, the men are all old. Somehow, in the past few weeks, I have become the world's most powerful middle aged man magnet. I first discovered this in the Bethel airport when I was waiting to meet up with my mom and brother in Oregon. This man kept smiling at me, which is fine, everyone can smile away at me, unless they are laughing at the fact that my zipper is down... then I will be sad. But anyway, my zipper was up, I didn't have anything funny stuck to my face and yet, he was still smiling. Then, he took a seat a few seats away, there were two or three people between us, but he leans over, looks at me and asks, "Would you like a piece of gum?" I politely refused and waited for him to offer the gum to the two people he had leaned over. Nope, just me. Old man conquest #1.

Old man conquest #2 came just a few short hours later when I was sitting on the plane from Anchorage to Seattle. I was sitting in the window seat and a middle aged man came and sat in the aisle. He immediately struck up a conversation, which continued throughout boarding, even though another, larger, man came and sat down between us. After a while, I somehow hinted strongly enough that I wanted to sleep (maybe it was when I turned on my iPod and closed my eyes that he finally got it) and he stopped. But, when we were getting off the plane, he kindly offered me a ride home. But, don't worry, my mommy warned me about getting in cars with strange men.

Old man conquest #3,4, 5. These were reallllly old men. Mom, Alan and I were eating breakfast one morning at a little restaurant and were sitting right next to three men my grandfather's age. One of the men hadn't been sitting there 2 minutes before he started up a random conversation with me. Let's just say, I had those three men wrapped around my little finger by the end of breakfast.

Last, but not least, old man conquest #6. By the time I was back in the Seattle airport getting ready to head back to Bethel, I was consistently checking to see if there was a sign above me that said, "Looking for a Sugar Daddy." While I was looking, I must have hit the sign into hyper-mode because I had my most random encounter yet. I was standing in line at Starbucks to buy my mom a cup of tea and the man in front of me turns around and starts telling me all about how he is an injured vet and how he loves travelling then asks where I live. After I answer, he goes into this long lecture about the beauty of Alaska finally admitting in the end that he has never lived there. Wow. I just want the tea. And an ability to attract men my own age. Is that too much to ask?

There is good news though. I think the conquests are over, maybe it is a lower 48 phenomenon. Who knows. But, the romance is not over. Don't worry. This past weekend I was a chaperone at the BRHS homecoming dance. BRHS is the local high school and BABS students are not allowed unless they have a BABS chaperone. I didn't know about the dance in general, or the rules about chaperones until about 3 hours before the dance when one of my students came up to me at a Haitian fundraiser my roommates and I were working at, and asked me to chaperone so she could go. As you all know, I am a bit of a sucker and couldn't say no. So, I deserted the auction/concert/dinner to benefit Hati in order to fulfill a much more noble calling, a high school dance chaperone.

I have a weird history with high school dances. I never had a great high school dance, something always went wrong. So, walking into BRHS, with no idea what to do or where I was supposed to go, I was a little apprehensive. I didn't want to be that annoying chaperone who thinks she is one of the kids and busts out scary dance moves. I didn't want to be that meddling chaperone who walks around with a ruler yelling out "LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!" (Ok, maybe I wanted to be that chaperone... I was just too much of a wimp) So anyway, it was real awkward. I just kind of stood against the wall, hoping the time would pass fast so I could leave and meet up with some other friends. To be fair though, it was also hilarious. I got to watch my student from BABS dance with her "friend" who looked like he was having a seizure. I watched the girls dance desperately in front of a bench full of mostly disinterested guys. I watched the cliques form, just like they did in my high school. I found my crew, the awkward weirdo girls who just kind of danced with themselves and were generally ignored by everyone else. (Look how far I've come! Haha) It was a blast from the past for sure. But, by the time the dance was over, I was happy to leave. On my way out though, I saw two people down a corridor of lockers, looking like they were about to suck each other's mouths off. I paused for a moment, wondering if I should break it up, you know, be a good chaperone and all. But, I decided to keep going, I wanted to be a cool chaperone. (And I just wanted to leave...)

After I left, I headed over to a gathering of some friends. There, I was surrounded by more awkward hilarious dancing, fun friends, entertaining conversations and to my glee, a vodka tonic. After a very stressful and sometimes painful couple of weeks, I think this weekend (also filled with open mic night, a dance party for Joe's birthday, making a lemon cake and cinnamon bagels, yes I made homemade bagels! and just some quality time with my roommates) was exactly what I needed. OH! Before I forget. Another highlight of my weekend. Getting thanked for being a chaperone. The BRHS student who asked my BABS student just happens to be a Klejka, my faithful blog followers should recognize that name. Well, Jesse came by on Sunday to thank me for chaperoning so that Mary (BABS student) could go. He even gave me a gift! A half-eaten can of Pringles. WOW. Thanks Jesse. But, then today, Mary brought me a bunch of brownies and an awesome and super sweet thank you note. I bet you can guess who is my favorite. Chaperoning suddenly seems so much more worth it. Haha.

Now, I realized I haven't said much about my job recently. It is soooo much fun. I love my students, they like me most of the time and I feel so blessed to work with them. They keep my own life in perspective, they challenge me to think outside the box, they try to teach me Yup'ik (I have great pronunciation but an awful memory) they ask me about my relationships and then laugh when I tell them some stories of my relationship mishaps. I have also discovered that I love tutoring science. One of my students is doing science on independent study and I love 3rd period because that is when I get to pull out all of the knives and forks and cups and whatever else I can find for 3-D diagrams of atoms or the solar system or whatever needs explaining. I think I should go back to school and take more science classes. I shouldn't have stopped at just one in college. I feel like being at BABS has totally amplified my passions, tutoring, math, laughter, science, poetry, honesty. I don't know what I am going to do without all of my awesome, inspiring kids. Good thing I have a whole semester with them left!

As for life after JVC, I have no idea. Maybe I want to go teach English in another country, maybe I want to move to Montana and work at Cramer Creek, maybe I want to go to grad school (uh... no, I don't wanna do that yet, sorry Dad!), maybe I want to stay in Bethel. I just know that I am not ready to make that decision, I have some that I am leaning towards more than others, but for right now, I am happy where I am at, in my life, geographically and emotionally.

But of course, I still love and miss you all. I hope you are doing well!