Broomballin' and Decision Makin'

There have been quite a few exciting things happening in my life recently! First of all, I went to Homer this past weekend for the Alaska State Broomball tournament. It was an awesome experience. We ended up taking third out of six teams in the tournament. That doesn’t sound very impressive, but considering it was the first time we had played inside on an ice rink with boards and smooth ice and against people other than Bethel folks, I am happy with how we did. The actual experience of being in Homer was pretty great too. I flew into Anchorage on Friday morning and met up with my dad who happened to be in Anchorage for a council meeting. We walked around downtown Anchorage, got Starbucks (!) and then ate some delicious chicken teriyaki.

After that, I got into a cab and headed back to the airport and flew to Homer. The flight was only 45 minutes but it would have been a 5 hour drive from Anchorage so almost everyone on our team decided to fly. I ended up getting into Homer at 4:45 but the rest of the people flying in didn’t get in until 7:15, so I walked from the airport to the downtown area with a hiking backpack full of all of my stuff. But, once I had walked the 2 miles, my shoulders were sore. So, I stopped at the Safeway, bought some batteries for my camera (yes, there will be broomball pictures available soon!) and some snacks for the team (that were meant for the tournament but turned into drunk munchies later that night), then sat down at the Starbucks inside the Safeway and read a book for an hour. I probably looked like a total dirty hippie, but Homer seems like a pretty hippie friendly place.

Anyway, after a while in the Safeway, I decided to take a cab out to the end of the Homer Spit, a 4.5 mile long piece of land that sticks out into the Kachemak Bay, where our team would be staying. We rented a house at the end of the spit that is run by the Land’s End hotel. But, since my team wasn’t there yet, I decided to have my first drink at a bar since Christmastime while I waited. Alaskan Amber. Yum. After I finished with that and a delicious chicken breast sandwich, my team had arrived. So, we dropped off our stuff at this beautiful house and headed straight to the Salty Dawg, a famous Homer bar. We walk in and are immediately serenaded by the lovely folks from the Homer Wooden Boats Society who sing sea shanties at the bar every Friday night. We only stayed there for one drink because my teammates were hungry.

So, next we headed out to Alice’s Champagne Palace, one of the sponsors of the Homer broomball league. When we got there, a hopping Space-themed party in honor of the tournament. Since we didn’t know about the costume section of our broomball entertainment, we decided to all show up in our jerseys (retro Bruin’s hockey jerseys). We got a wonderful warm welcome when we walked in. Everyone there seem to be really excited to have people all the way from Bethel for the tournament. So, we had a few beers (the Homer Brewery’s Red is AMAZING) and some shots of Jager and did a ton of dancing then called it a night.

The next day was broomball day! It was set up so that every team played everyone else and then everyone went into tournament play. We ended up doing awesome in the round robin section, we only lost one game (to the team that ended up winning the tournament) and we scored the most goals out of all the teams. So, we went into tournament play in 2^nd place and then lost to the first team we played. That was a total bummer, but like I said before I am still happy with how we did. Some highlights: Two women from Homer volunteered to play on our team since we only had two women (and you have to have 2 women on the ice at all times) and about 3 minutes into our second game, one of them fell chin first onto the ice, bruising her chin and knocking out one of her front teeth. (She is ok and had dental insurance and a great attitude so it wasn’t the horrible situation it could have been) Anyway, I went back in for her and we continued playing. About two minutes after that, I collide with this guy and his hockey helmet with face cage slams right into my (borrowed) bike helmet (white with silver flowers) … and my ear. That felt nice. So, I subbed out for a couple of minutes until I felt a little more in control. I didn’t cry but man, it really hurt! But, I was back in just a few minutes later, thankful that I was not hurt like our wonderful Homer substitute. Anyway, it was a wonderful day full of laughter, sweat and pushing people around.

After the games, we all took turns taking nice hot showers and laying down. We were all exhausted, but managed to rally and head out to the Broomball Banquet and After Party. The Homer teams gave out awards and everyone just sort of mingled and ate dinner, then we headed to the Down East, my first ever smoking bar. Yes, I am so young that all the bars had already gone smoke-free before I was 21. My fellow players did not enjoy learning that fact. I was the youngest person on our team by at least 5 years and at most almost 20 years. I was also the only one not married/with a live-in lifetime commitment partner. It was actually hilarious to watch these older guys with wives and children and respectable lives just get ridiculous because they could. Watching them go crazy was like being back in college. So entertaining.

On Sunday, we all woke up sore and exhausted (after staying out until 3:30 after playing broomball all day, no one was surprised) but we still tried to challenge Homer players to a final scrimmage. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your level of pain/hangover), not enough people showed up. So, we went back to the house and hung out until we went to dinner at one of our player’s parent’s house for lunch. Then, I headed back to the airport and flew to Anchorage. In Anchorage, I met up with my JV roommate Joe who lives and works in there now. We went out to dinner and ate some amazing pizza (with beer, of course) then watched the Country Music Awards and went to bed. When I woke up on Monday morning, it was time to head back to Bethel. What an awesome weekend.

Since I’ve been back in Bethel, I have been trying to make some decisions about grad school. I got into the University of Washington, University of Montana and the University of Denver. After lots of thought and stressing, I have decided that I want to attend the University of Denver’s MSW in the Fall. Now, I just need to find an apartment, a job and a way to pay for it! Since this week is testing week at the high school, I have had lots of free time to look up information about all of those things, but it is hard for me to make housing/life decisions when I’m not there. I’ve never actually been to Denver. This will be quite a change from Bethel but I am very excited about it. I am also excited about this summer. I plan to visit my family in Seattle and in Maine and then head down to Denver to try to get settled before I start school. If any of you have any Denver connections, I’d be thrilled to hear about them.

Well, I think that is all I’ve got for now. Testing is about to be over so I guess I will go collect some tests! I hope you are all doing well and if you are in Seattle or Maine, I hope to see you in just a few weeks!

Lots of love,

Jill

Meet the Old Lady Me, Broomball Tournament and Theology!

I know it has been a long time since my last blog but I think it is time for an update. I have been pretty busy recently. In February, I was in a play. It was ridiculous. I’ve never really been in community theatre before, so that was an interesting experience. The show was Agatha Christie’s A Murder is Announced and I was Mrs. Blacklock, the woman of the house where a murder takes place. It was lots of fun to be a classy older woman. I dyed my hair grey every night, wore sweet dresses straight out of history. There was a photographer, so if you are so inclined, check them out: http://thebagonline.org/Bethel_Actors_Guild/The_2011_Season/Pages/A_Murder_is_Announced.html There are a ton of pictures, but don’t be deterred, definitely make sure to look at the pictures at the end. Yes, that is me, the classy English woman, trying to stab someone with scissors and then getting stopped by the police.

Anyway, the play was basically my life from when I got back in January until the end of February. Then, once I survived that ridiculous experience of people quitting, people on script during the dress rehearsal and just general craziness, I found something new to get excited about. Broomball! I know that I have written about broomball in the past, I’ve been playing since last winter, but its for real now. See, everyone has gotten really into it, we have special broomball shoes, we have new broomball sticks and in two weeks, I will be heading to Homer to represent Bethel in the Alaskan Broomball tournament. It will be another interesting experience, I’m sure. I’m not that good but I’m definitely getting better. I scored my first goal ever a few weeks ago and then I scored another one yesterday. I think my goal for the tournament should be to try and score a goal. We shall see how that goes. I’m not incredibly optimistic but it will be fun to get out of Bethel and have one last fun Alaskan experience before I leave.

Yes, I am leaving Bethel. It has been a wonderful experience but it is time for me to move on. I don’t yet know where I am going to be moving to, that is too much decision making for me, but I know I won’t be in Bethel come next fall. I don’t know when I am going to leave, I might spend part of the summer here, I might move to wherever I am planning on attending grad school, who knows. Oh yea, I think I am going to grad school. Yay! I got into the University of Denver’s school of Social Work, I am also waiting to hear back from the University of Montana. Those are my two top choices. Denver or Missoula? I don’t know which I prefer quite yet. Meh, I have some time. Haha. Nothing like putting off decisions!

Anyway, other exciting things happening in the life of Jill: I am still obsessed with food. My current love = sweet potato gnocchi. Try this recipe out and fall in love. Its easy, its delicious and it is actually relatively nutritious. I like it with a little bit of pesto. http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/sweet-potato-gnocchi/Detail.aspx I have made it twice in the past 2 months (and since I like to try new things all the time, that actually means something, I only repeat awesome recipes)

I have also been reading some of my roommate’s theology books. I often get bored and start reading whatever is around me and recently that has meant reading Ariel’s books. They have definitely raised some questions for me. The first book was Proverbs of Ashes. Basically, this book is part theology and part memoir and the premise is that the belief that Jesus was crucified in order to forgive our sins perpetuates a cycle of violence. The authors use stories from their own lives and stories from others to illustrate this. One of the most striking examples for me was the story of a woman who was beaten by her husband but counseled by her priest to stay with the batterer. His explanation: your struggles bring you closer to God, you understand Jesus’ agony on the cross. WHOA. That just sounds ridiculous to me. The authors of this book had actually touched on one of my biggest issues with Christianity, the idea that this great, loving God, would send his own son to be tortured and killed. What kind of person does that? What kind of God does that? All my life, I have struggled when people have said, “God sends us these troubles to test us or to make us stronger.” In my head, I’ve always said, “What the heck? Why? Why does God have to bring us pain?” The authors of Proverbs of Ashes don’t believe that God wants us to be punished. He doesn’t send us pain and problems, he sends us love and the ability to withstand our pain and problems. Yes. This is what I have been looking for! Someone to tell me that our great all-powerful God is not some punk who gets off on people’s suffering (yes, that sounds sacrilegious, but tell me you haven’t heard stuff like that before). Anyway, that was a really interesting book. It definitely got me thinking. If you are interested, you should totally read it too!

Ok, whew. That was deep. Deeper than my blogs usually get. Let’s end on a lighter note. I got my work evaluation on Friday. It was a 2 minute meeting with the Assistant Principal. He said that I was great and I got top marks on everything. My favorite category: cleanliness. Apparently, I am very well groomed and presentable. Sweet. So take that, everyone who judged my every 2 to 3 day showering schedule. According to Bethel Regional High School, I exceed cleanliness standards.

Anyway, time to head home! I hope everyone is doing well!

Lots of love,

Jill

Winter's Here (For the next 8 months!)

As I write to you, I am looking out a window across a frozen pond and the road covered with snow and ice. Winter is here! It has been snowing almost every day (at least a little bit) for a week now. I am only exaggerating a little bit when I say that I think we might have more snow right now than we did all of last year! I am so excited. Once everything becomes frozen over, it feels like Bethel is back to being how it is meant to be. Winter is definitely Bethel's season. It just fits.

Now, this doesn't mean that Bethel winters are a total walk in the park. There are plenty of hassles that come with the cold weather. For example, starting on October 1st, on all airplane school trips (i.e. volleyball trips), all participants must wear full winter gear. So, last weekend, as I headed to Nome with 17 girls, we all had to be wearing snow pants (or Carharts), winter jackets, snow boots, gloves, and hats. The coldest it got all that trip was like 25 degrees (above zero) so we were all sweating like crazy on the airplane.

But, once we got to Nome, we didn't have to wear the winter gear (which was a relief) and we had a great time. It was me with 10 8th grade girls, 7 of my JV girls and another chaperone. Because I was the only coach, that meant I was crazy busy during volleyball time, coaching teams back to back, but after that was over, we had plenty of time to just relax and have some fun in a different place. We went shopping (for food... they don't really have clothing stores in Nome either) and we took tons of pictures. The girls were hilarious and so wonderful. I'm lucky to be coaching them. On the court, I am pretty intense and I expect them to act like serious athletes, but off the court, I enjoy sleeping bag races, dance parties, gossiping about boys and all those other great teenage girl things. I don't necessarily enjoy the accompanying drama and the serious babysitting that 8th grade girls need, but it all balanced out to be a pretty fun weekend.

This week has also been pretty good. We got our actual reading program (finally!) and that has been really nice. We finally know what we should be doing during our Book Club time! High school volleyball has been a bit of a challenge, but it is almost over, so that is exciting. The varsity team (and I, as their female chaperone) go to Dillingham next weekend for Regions to determine whether they go to state. I am happy to be going with them and hope that their coach and I will be able to figure out some winning strategies for the weekend.

I also help organize a volleyball booth at the annual BRHS carnival last night. I got a bunch of the 7th and 8th grade girls to run a face painting booth and a balloon popping booth. They are a hardworking bunch of girls and I think we probably ended up raising about $300, which is awesome.

Oh! Speaking of Halloween. I dressed up for costume day on Wednesday as a grape! It was hilarious. I taped big purple balloons all over my upper body and wore a purple long underwear shirt and pants with green shorts. I couldn't walk through doors without rotating to the side, and I couldn't see my feet or clap my hands, but it was a fun costume.

Ok, that is all I can think of right now. I'm going to go head home and do a yoga class that I downloaded offline. (Since the roads are pretty icy, I don't really feel like going for a run and after all the candy I ate at the Halloween Carnival... I feel like I could use some exercise, haha)

Love you and miss you all lots and lots!

I'm good. I'm great. I'm Jill.

Yes. I do realize that I have been a terrible blogger recently. Life has just been super busy. First of all, volleyball eats my weekends (That is a way better excuse than my dog ate my homework, huh?). But seriously. I have traveled to Cordova, Seward, Nikiski, Nome and Dillingham since the end of August. I also have recently started helping coach the Junior High volleyball team. So, instead of working 8:15-4:15 and coaching 4:30-6:30... I now work 8:15-4:15, coach Junior High 4:30-6 and High School 6:30-8:30. That is a lot of volleyball. Now, in general, I love volleyball. But recently, coaching has been the bane of my existence. I have some serious ideological differences with the head coach (i.e. I disagree with just about every third word that he says) and it stresses me out so much that just thinking about it now gives me a headache. I just really wish I could get back to loving volleyball and loving coaching. I have been on the verge of quitting almost constantly since around the middle of September. But, I keep telling myself that quitting won't help anyone. So, I have been concentrating more and more on the individual players, trying to help them as much as possible and that seems to be helping me.

What has also helped me is being gone for 2 weeks. Let me explain. I got back from a volleyball tournament in Dillingham to news that my family was trying to get a hold of me. When I called my parents, I found out that my grandmother was very sick and my whole family was flying to New Jersey to be with her. I flew out of Bethel the next morning. Unfortunately, getting to the east coast from Bethel took me almost a full 24 hours, and she had passed on 14 hours before I arrived. I was sad that I missed saying goodbye, it had been years since the last time I had actually seen her, but it was also good to see all of my aunts that were there. I hadn't seen them in years either. So, I spent two days with my family and got to know my grandmother better. Is that weird to say? Probably. I just mean, I got to learn a lot more about her, see more pictures, hear more about her life than I think I ever had before. It was definitely an eye-opening experience. After New Jersey, I flew back to Seattle. It was a Thursday and I had actually be planning on being in Seattle that following Sunday for Christina and Josh's wedding, so I had three extra days in Seattle.

For the next week an a half, I relaxed, I did wedding things (learned how to tie/do/make/whatever-you-call-it a bustle, went to Christina's hair and makeup trial, ect), I saw some friends, got my teeth cleaned, got new contacts, got my hair cut and dyed, hung out with my family, took a Zumba class (so fun!), basically, I did all sorts of Bethel things.

The highlight of my Seattle time, though, was definitely Christina and Josh's wedding. This was only my second wedding, but I don't know how the two weddings I have seen can possibly topped. My cousin Amy's wedding in January was beautiful and touching and individual. Christina and Josh's was all the same things, in incredibly different ways. I don't know how to explain it. Ugh. It was great. Being the Maid of Shame (you know, the person who is on the other end of the Maid of Honor and the one who walks out with the Worst Man, haha) was a wonderful honor. I just have some awesome friends who had an awesome wedding and who are so ridiculously in love that it kind of makes me gag.

So, after all of that, I headed back to Bethel. I have only been back like 2.5 days and I can already tell that going home was sooooo good for me. Honestly, I have been regretting my decision to stay in Bethel ever since August. I have been unhappy, depressed and downright cranky about my situation since then. But, for the first time since August, I am so happy to be here. I really feel like this is where I should be right now. Basically, I hopped back into Bethel life just while it was becoming a complete shitshow (excuse my french). It is PFD time (you know, the check that people who live in Alaska get because they live in Alaska) and it just screws everything up. Suddenly people have more money and therefore they have more access to alcohol, drugs, and other awesomely healthy things. Domestic violence, suicide, and public drunkenness rates all skyrocket during this time. As I'm sure you can guess, this has a really great effect on my students. Their often shaky home lives become straight up disasters. One of my students came to me on Monday stressed because her brother was missing and the last time anyone had seen him, he was really drunk. Later that day, she came to me in tears saying that her brother had passed away. In fact, there has been so much drama recently, my coworker (and twin separated at birth- where I was then frozen for a few years) Adrian and I have joked that we should just put a sign on our door that says, "the doctor is in."

During all of this turmoil, however, I have found more peace than I have felt in months. First of all, I finally know what I want to do and it is all thanks to a conversation that I had with Matt Salazar when I was home. For years I have said that I want to work with students in an academic setting, but I don't want to be teacher. I enjoy working with student through emotional turmoil, I love making them successful humans first and then successful students second. I could never put a title to what I wanted to do, until my conversation with Matt. He asked me why I had never considered being a therapist. I immediately rejected the idea, I hate therapists (I've had some terrible therapy sessions in my life. Ok, 2. 2 out of 2. But whatever, I still think the profession sucks.) But, now that Matt planted that seed, I can't get it out of my head. I have now decided that I want to be a school counselor. Man, that just feels right. So now I'm looking at different schools and I am going to figure out how to make all that happen. But for right now, I should take this time to thank Matt Salazar for quite possibly changing the trajectory of my life. Sweet. I'm so excited.

I'm also excited because I am feeling way more healthy, happy and settled in my own skin than ever before. I know what I want to do with my life, I'm getting lots of practice with therapy (but still praying that the drama dies down soon, for everyone's sake), and I finally feel happy with myself. For those of you who know the constant drama that accompanies my personal life most of the time, you will be happy to know that for the first time in a long time, I am single, fully single, with no attachments to a guy, no drama (shocking! I know!), just me. And god does it feel good. I have never had a minute of my life since high school where I wasn't convinced that I needed to be with someone (someone specific or some shadowy future someone), until now. Right now, the thought of dating someone makes me kind of want to gag. Seriously. I'm sure eventually I'm going to change my mind and want to date again, but for right now, I am so thrilled with the knowledge that I finally realize that I am enough. I am enough for myself. That realization was a long time coming.

So anyway, I'm good (with volleyball). I'm great (because I finally know what I want to be when I grow up). I'm Jill (you know, the girl who finally understands who she is, even without a significant other). And I love you a lot.

I'm a big kid now!

That's right, folks. I have a real job. I have a real apartment. A real paycheck. Real bills. And I'm real busy. But, let's back up a little bit. I finished JVC on August 2nd. Actually it kind of felt like I finished a week before that because that was when all of my roommates left. I was all alone in my big house for almost a full week and that was sad. But then, August 3rd rolled around and I flew home.

Man, it was so good to be back in Seattle. I got to see lots of people I love, eat delicious food, pack up stuff for my new apartment and stress out about whether or not I was making the right decision to stay in Bethel for another year. But, all too soon, my time in Seattle was over and it was time to head back to Bethel for the first day of volleyball practice and of work. I wish I could say that I jumped into my life back here in Bethel as easily as I did the first time around, a year ago, but that would be a total lie. To be honest, I am not sure I made the right decision to come back. It just didn't feel as right as it did the first time. But, I had made the commitment to be here and so here I am.

Anyway, musings aside, lets talk about my life recently. I have been crazy busy. Basically, I work from 8:15-4:15 at the high school, working with 7th and 8th graders who need some extra help with their reading. Then, at 4:30, I transition to being the JV volleyball coach until 7ish. Then I walk home. Yay, 11 hour days! Also, up until last week, I didn't have a phone at all. So, for those of you who are missing me, that is my explanation. But good news, now I have a phone AND a P.O. Box. My phone number is 907-543-5113 and my address is P.O. Box 3522 Bethel, AK 99559.

But anyway, back to my busy schedule, I also have volleyball on the weekends. Last weekend I had a grand adventure with the Bethel Warriors Varsity volleyball team. This season, I will be traveling with the varsity team because the varsity coach is a man and they need a female chaperone. But, this past weekend, the varsity coach had to fly to Florida for a funeral, so I was in charge of the girls. The other chaperone was a teacher from the high school who had never played volleyball before, so not only was I put in charge of the girls, but I was also put in charge of all the coaching. Talk about some pressure. But it was a great weekend. Thursday morning, we all met at the airport and flew into Anchorage. Then, I went to go get the rental van. That was a funny experience, the woman checking out the van says to me, "it is strange that they sent a player to pick up the van.... don't they usually send coaches?" Thanks lady. I'm 23. Anyway, I drive the 15 passenger van back to the airport, and we loaded up all of our gear, and then went on a harrowing quest for Sport Authority and Taco Bell. I say harrowing because it was, in every way, a dramatic quest. I was weaving in and out of traffic, girls were yelling (incorrect) directions, and the chaperone was practicing her deep breathing in order to stay calm. Eventually, we did make it to Sports Authority, the girls bought volleyball socks, and then we went to Taco Bell and ate some delicious "authentic" Mexican food.

Then, we hopped back into the van and I drove to Seward. It was a beautiful drive that kind of reminded me of driving I-90 from Seattle. When we got to Seward, 2.5 hours later, we went to Seward High School and got everything settled where we were going to spend the night. The high school was kind enough to let us use their school to sleep in, and guess what? We stayed on the stage! That was pretty cool. Later that night, we played our first game of the season, against Seward. My girls played with a lot of heart. They tried really hard. (We got stomped. Something that would become a bit of a theme that weekend.) After that, we went to a great Chinese restaurant, then went to bed on the sweet stage.

The next morning, we woke up nice and early (we had to be out of the school by the time school started at 7:45) and drove to Nikiski. The drive took about 3 hours, including a stop at the Kenai Walmart, just for fun. Once we got to Nikiski high school, we checked in for the tournament. There were five other teams there, Nikiski, Seward, Kenai, Kodiak and Soldotna. On Friday afternoon, we played Kenai and Nikiski (stomp, stomp) and then watched some other teams play. On Saturday, we played Seward and Nikiski again (stomp and finally not a stomp). After we played our last game, we didn't stay for the championship game, we drove the 5ish hours back to Anchorage so we could check into our hotel and then go to the Anchorage Walmart and then to the movie theatre. Both times we went to Walmart, I gave the girls a talk about Walmart's cheap prices and the ways that Walmart gets those cheap prices (at the price of humans), but we all enjoyed the shopping nonetheless. I bought sheets, ketchup, mustard, ranch dressing, mayo, a water filter, sugar, ect. (Things that are ridiculously expensive in Bethel.) Then we went and watched a movie. Half saw Vampires Suck and half saw The Takers (I saw the Takers... ok movie, but it was just cool to be in a movie theatre!) After the movie, we went back to the hotel where a couple of girls decided to dye all or part of their hair blonde (all Native girls... I was pretty worried) We all decided to stay up until it was done, so we were up until like 3am.

The next morning, Sunday, we got up and went to the airport and flew back to Bethel. Then I worked all week, 8:15-7. Yep, I'm a busy girl. I get this weekend off from traveling, but then the next three weekends I will be gone, in Cordova, Nome and Dillingham respectively. Then I have a weekend off until I fly home to Seattle for Christina's wedding! I'm going to be racking up airline miles like crazy!

But, now it is time to head home. Our washer and dryer was just delivered this morning so I am hoping it will be set up soon so I can do my laundry for the first time in like 2 weeks. Yuck. Oh, but on a side note, you will all be proud to know that I shower every day again, all that volleyball practicing... I can't get away with not showering anymore. Haha. I will try and do better with my updating, and once I fully unpack and find my phone card, I will do better with my calling. I love you and miss you all!

The Human Roller Coaster!

It has been quite a while since my last blog and a lot has happened in my life. I guess it is time for another list, this is a list of all the things in my life that have made me the human roller coaster of emotions!

1. Back on May 15th, I watched as 6 of my students received their high school diploma. That was an awesome experience. Because we are such a small school, every student had the opportunity (whether they wanted it or not… they didn’t have a choice) to give a graduation speech. In their speeches, these students recognized the people who had helped them get to graduation, the obstacles that almost prevented them and the hope that they had for the future, theirs and all other BABS students’. The ceremony was beautiful, full of tears, laughter, jokes and heartfelt thanks. I was the punch line of quite a few of the graduate’s speeches, somehow, once again, I earned the nickname “The Enforcer.” (For those of you who don’t know, when I was an Orientation Coordinator, that is what many Orientation Advisors called me.) I choose to believe that this nickname is always bestowed affectionately, in a “Wow, I really wish that you’d leave me alone so that I can take my nap in peace, I really don’t care about my Alaska Studies worksheet… but when I look back on this, I will be glad that I passed the class.” So anyway, graduation was awesome, I felt like a mother hen, walking around, so proud of my little chicks (and gents). The ceremony, however, wasn’t always upbeat. BABS is a zero tolerance school and so our students are dismissed if they have used drugs or alcohol. In the 6 weeks before graduation, 5 students were dismissed and 2 of them were students who were supposed to graduate. Their absence was felt by everyone. The two that didn’t make it to the stage were also two students who were very close to my heart. BABS is a small school, so I had the opportunity to get to know every student pretty well, but these two were two of the students that I had spent the most time with over the year. I had spent time with both of them outside of school, I had spent countless hours with them working one-on-one, I had even edited their graduation speeches. It is hard for me to think about how close they both were, how excited they both were, and how disappointed in themselves they both were when they screwed it up. But of course, everything in life can be a learning experience and I truly believe that both of these students will be successful, they will earn their diplomas and they will do great things for the world. Roller coaster number 1.
2. After graduation, we had three more days with the rest of the students and then school was out for the summer! That didn’t mean that my work was finished, however. I believe that I have mentioned before that BABS is moving. We are moving out of our converted house and into a real school building. But, first, we had to get all of our stuff out of the house. 13 years worth of stuff. On the last day of school with the students, we all worked together to pack everything into boxes and move it down into the classrooms so that a moving company could pick it up the next day. I am not exaggerating when I say that the piles of boxes went almost to the ceiling and created a maze that you had to navigate to get from one side of the room to the other. Now, it would have been nice if we could have packed up all of the stuff and then had the movers move it into the new school and then I could have spent the summer unpacking it, but, that would be too easy! Instead, we packed it all up, the movers moved it to a gym and it will sit there until the beginning of August because the school isn’t done with its renovations yet. So anyway, it takes a ton of work to move all of the stuff out of the school, then Starr and I start moving all of the stuff out of the girls dorm. You know, dressers, bunk beds, mattresses, lamps, boxes of food, ect. All that light, easy to move stuff. Thankfully, we didn’t have to do it alone. Some volunteers for Fordham came to Bethel on a service trip and they were awesome and helped a ton. Then we got some men from the Tundra Center, a jail alternative, aka jail with a little bit more freedom, to help us move the super heavy stuff. They were also incredible and I can’t imagine having to do all that without our awesome volunteers. After we got all the stuff out of the school and dorm, the fun part was just beginning. Then, I got to spend the next week scrubbing, scraping, vacuuming, dusting, spackling, cursing, and developing sweet arm muscles. Yippee! You have no idea how relieved I was when I finally finished cleaning. Roller coaster number 2.
3. So, the kids are gone, the school is clean, what do I do for the rest of the summer? Good question! I am now working out of the old boy’s dorm, basically just hanging out all day in the living room of the dorm parents. Thanks Cory and Angie! My job this summer is to try and get our school full for next year. Unfortunately, that is turning out to be harder that I expected, no one wants to think about school yet! It is summer. All of my potential students are out at fish camp or visiting family or sleeping all day, basically what I would be doing if I were them. So, I do a lot of sitting at work. I do a lot of wishing the internet would work. I do a lot of wishing I still had students to hang out with. Yep, it is a very exciting life. So, it is nice to have little to do, but it also drive me nuts. Roller coaster number 3.
4. In order to keep my sanity, I have depended on my after work activities. I have done some pretty cool things recently. I mentioned fish camp earlier. Fish camps are basically like shacks on the side of the river that families inherit and go to during the summer during fish season to fish, to cut fish, to hang fish, to dry fish, and to relax. I have not been to a fish camp this summer, but I have gone fishing and I have learned how to cut and dry fish. The other day I went out on the river with a former JV and friend and we went drift netting. I had never done that before and apparently we didn’t do very well but I was still impressed with the 3 King salmon and 5 chum that we caught. Then, we went back to shore and cut them. O’Hara Corporation family and friends, you will be very disappointed in me. I am not a natural fish fillet-er. I get the job done but it is definitely not pretty. So, that was my fishing experience. I also had a fish cutting and drying lesson from our support person, Sally Russell. Basically, what people do up here is get a ton of fish and then cut them in strips or in fillets and hang them to dry for about a week, then you smoke them for another week or so. Then, you will have fish to eat for the entire year! Ariel and I are doing our best to help people who are fishing or drying the fish as much as possible so that we will have fish for next year. This isn't a roller coaster at all, it is just cool.
5. Next year?!?!?! What is she talking about, next year? Who is this Ariel girl? I bet you probably have some questions. Well, I have made the decision to stay in Bethel for another year. Actually, I made the decision to stay, then made the decision to move back to Seattle, then Bethel, then anywhere but Bethel, then Bethel, then Seattle, and now I am back on the Bethel train. Goodness. Aren’t you glad that I haven’t written a blog recently? Haha. Well, so anyway, I am planning on living with my roommate Ariel, who is staying and working at TWC, the local women’s shelter. I have a job, I will be working as a reading tutor for 7th and 8th graders and coaching JV volleyball. Sweet! We don’t know where we are going to be living yet, we are still working on that. But yea, that is definitely a roller coaster of emotion for me. I feel bad for Ariel, who has to put up with my constant second-guessing and mind-changing. Roller coaster number 4.
6. In other news, the play that I was going to be in was cancelled. Sad day. Only, it wasn’t so sad at all. It was a lot of work and it just wasn’t coming together. It may happen another time, but so far, Bethel is spared a Jill Bruton version of No Exit. Another non-roller coaster. No big deal, just interesting news!
7. Unfortunately, Bethel has not been spared another episode of Jill Bruton’s relationship drama. As some of you know, I was dating someone. He is an awesome person and I was very lucky to be with him. He was very good for me, he challenged me to be a better person and a better softball player, yes that is right, he even convinced me to play softball. I have discovered recently that I am kind of an athlete (I wish I had known that when I was younger!), but softball is not my thing. I was very blessed to have someone like him to challenge me and help me improve. Unfortunately, I screwed it all up. Big time. I am so used to being the one who gets hurt in relationships, it is weird to be in the opposite position. It sucks. To make this blog entry go in a full circle, I can see many parallels between the students who ruined their chance at graduation and me. I couldn’t understand how they would risk losing their chance at a successful graduation just for a couple of drinks but I can’t see how I could risk losing a wonderful guy by making a stupid decision. At times like this I realize, I am not as mature, as loving, as kind, or as smart as I would like to think. I have a lot to learn. Big time roller coaster. Number 6.

So, I have been through a lot in the past few months since my last blog. I have felt a lot of happiness and joy, sadness and despair, I have felt ready to stick around Bethel for another year, I have felt trapped in Bethel and needed to get out. I am a human rollercoaster of emotions. But, I’m riding it. What can I say? I am a 22 (almost 23) year old woman with lots of potential and lots to learn.

Anyway, time to get back to work, expect another blog soon with everything I have left out of this blog. And, as usual, I love you and miss you all lots!

Easter, Ptarmigan Plucking and More Ridiculous Bethel Stories!

I have more crazy Bethel stories and since I want to get to my now weekly Star Trek marathon, I am going to use another list:

1. I spent 2 hours at the DMV the other day with one of my students. She needed to get a state id card so she could fly to Juneau for a visit to the state capital. We were there for a long time waiting in line but it was totally worth it because I learned something really interesting. They don’t have addresses in the villages! So, the section of the forms where it asks for a physical address causes a bit of a problem. A woman came in to get her driver’s license and was obviously confused when she tried to fill in that box. After a brief conversation with the woman behind the counter, however, the problem was resolved. In the space she wrote, “red house across from the church.” Welcome to the Alaska Bush!

2. There were 7 JVs in Bethel last year. Currently, there are 5 of them here. Three never left Bethel, one moved up a few weeks ago and one is visiting. People weren’t joking when they said that Bethel keeps JVs for years! Anyway, because so many of them were in town this weekend, my house decided to have a JV dinner with last years JVs and us. It was really funny, I don’t think you could find two communities that are more different, but it was awesome to get an almost complete picture of the JVs we have heard about all year.

3. Then, later that night, I went to the first (hopefully) annual Easter beer hunt. Half of us were on cross country skis, half were on foot and all of us had the same goal. Find as many spray-painted beer cans as possible. The twist: it was getting dark and you had to chug your first two beers before you could continue hunting. Basically, it was one of the best Easter “egg” hunts I have ever been on.

4. But the Easter egg hunt the next day was a pretty close runner up. My roommates and I went over to the Klejka’s house for Easter dinner and then a unique Klejka family egg hunt. The actual hunting was your typical, look for the brightly colored eggs all over the backyard, but inside the eggs were tasks. After opening my eggs, I found that I had to do the hokey pokey, sing old MacDonald had a farm, high five someone and have a pillow fight with 5 other people, just to name a few.

5. (Warning: this story is not for the faint of heart)To end my Easter adventures, I did something that I had never done. Plucked a bird. No joke. One of my students called me Sunday night and asked me if I wanted some ptarmigan. Of course I said yes, and about an hour later, she stopped by with a trash bag with 5 cute white birds, that just happened to be bloody and dead. My roommate Joe had plucked a ptarmigan before so we all followed his directions. We set up a plucking station on our dining room table and got down to business. First, we all grabbed an empty priority mail box (thanks again for all the care packages, family, the boxes totally came in handy!), then grabbed a ptarmigan and got to work. Well, I didn’t really get straight to work. I tried to grab one, but when I touched blood, I freaked out. It took me probably five minutes to work up the nerve to grab one and throw it on my box. Then, once I did that, it was probably another 5 minutes, filled with outbursts like “Oh my GOD!” “Ewwww. Ewww. I can’t do this.” “Oh good lord. This is terrible,” before I could actually start ripping off its feathers. Once I did, however, it started getting easier, until I turned it over and saw that it was covered in blood. COVERED. Then, there was a lot more screaming. After a while, I named my bird Fred. Somehow it made it easier to snap his head, wings and legs off if I could tell a story about how he died. See, Fred was valiant ptarmigan. He was a great bird with an awesome girlfriend. They loved to fly from tundra bush to tundra bush together, until one day an evil BABS student came to kill his girlfriend. Fred got in the way, saving his girlfriend’s life, but ensuring himself a very bloody death. Oh the perils of true love! Anyway, Fred was dead, and now de-feathered and de-limbed. Next was the fun part, cutting open his butt, scooping out his organs and then cutting open and emptying out his stomach. Yum yum. I can’t wait to eat Fred.

6. Also, I have some exciting news. I’m going to be a famous actress. Ok, that is a total lie. But, in a few weeks, I will be up on stage making a big fool of myself as I pretend that I can act. I will be in the one act “No Exit.” If you feel so inclined, Wikipedia it. I am going to be Estelle. We are going to be starting rehearsals soon, so I’m sure I will soon have some great stories about how awful I am.

7. I also have so sad news. I was supposed to be going to Juneau for a big music festival with all the other Alaska JVs this weekend, but life has conspired against me. This week is testing week here at BABS so I am needed here and it would cost too much to change my ticket anyway. So, I hope to find some fun adventures to go on this weekend to forget about all the fun my housemates are having without me. Actually, my roommate Justin will be here too, but he is planning on sitting in a chair without moving for 24 hours this weekend as a spiritual exercise… soooo I’m not sure if I want to be around for that. Haha.

8. Ok, the last thing I have to say. It is still cold here. This morning it was -15 with windchill. It has been snowing off and on for the past week and it is supposed to continue. But, it is also super nice and sunny all the time. It is light when I walk to school in the morning and it stays light until past 9. Ridiculous Bethel.

Anyway, I love you and miss you all!

Oh.My.Gosh. I just posted this and then started packing up all of my stuff to leave work, then I found a little sheet of paper that I had written on at preschool bible school last week. I have to share it with you. We were talking about how God made each one of us special and how we should take care of ourselves because we are a gift from God. So anyway, I had them draw a picture of themselves. Easily the best idea of my life. When we were discussing hair color one of my students says, "If I let my hair grow long, it would turn light, like yours. That is why I keep mine short."
"You know, Jaiden, I don't think you have to worry about your black hair turning blonde like mine, no matter how long it gets... but ok."
Then, this other little boy turns to me, very seriously, and says, "Some people are white. You don't even know."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that... do I tell him that I am one of those white people? I decided to keep it simple, wait for someone else to rock his world with that statement and ended up saying something like, "Yep, there are white people, in Bethel and all over the world." Oh, preschoolers! Gotta love them!